sLanded as long as i lead All Too Well: The Short Film, Short film just presented at the Tribeca Film Festival. The music star, who has led the world charts for years, is one of the few artists who stood out Spotify Refusing to accept its terms, the most respected (she has 332 at the moment, and more than 700 nominations), she is suddenly turned away by an insistent thought: that i was fooling people Because she wasn’t really ready to direct a film and she didn’t deserve to do it. In his own words: “I had in my head deceitful syndrome Who said to me: ‘You don’t know how to do it, there are people who studied to direct.’
Swift is neither the first nor will she be the last in the world to suffer from impostor syndrome. In fact, it is estimated that seven out of 10 people will suffer from it at some point in their lives, especially women. Next I will tell you why.
Neither Taylor Swift nor I deserve what we have
like taylor swift, deceitful syndrome It suffers people who have some success, a good job, a position in their company, people who are generally doing well or more. That’s right: they think it’s because they’ve been lucky, that they really don’t deserve it and think they are take someone else’s place With more features. This belief leads them, as a general rule (this isn’t Taylor Swift’s problem in music, but it can be in movies), to mismanage their professional careers as they try to make money. as little noise as possible So that no one knows that they are there, that in fact they are deceivers. Of course, they are not.
Five typologies and two more as a gift
The world’s leading experts on the subject, Valerie Young, Along with thousands of conventions and books on the subject, he describes five types of syndrome, to which the authors of the new release add two more that they say they have explored throughout their research. They are the following:
This happens most often. According to Young, these people “focus on how to do anything: a small mistake Even if you’re in the midst of a stellar result, failure is synonymous with and, consequently, shame.” Furthermore, perfectionists consistently use a trick to self-deprecation, which is to say to themselves: “If I’ve achieved it, it’s not because my He really has potential; it’s because I gave myself 500%. So, to the guilt that already implies being in a situation that doesn’t suit him, add that when something isn’t 100% right If it is not worked hard enough (that is one hundred percent of the time, because perfection does not exist).
“To expert is to know what a perfectionist is to quality,” says Valerie Young. expert He imposes on himself the responsibility of knowing everything about everything. Cadoche and Monarlot write that the expert, before setting out, “must have a complete overview and dominance of any subject”. And he says: “It’s easy to see quite a break before wanting a new job. Instead of telling yourself that you have enough background and experience and that the rest of the knowledge and skills are acquired as you move through the company , foreshadows what may be missing”.
independent She assigns herself a task and wants to complete it herself from beginning to end, without relying on anyone. “She thinks she has to figure it out and get it all on her own. Asking for help is a sign of weakness and a source of shame,” the authors write. In independent, there would also be an inherent fear of being ‘unmasked’ by a colleague with whom a task was shared. This is the specific person who is having a tough time. So much so that I will never come, come on.
For this Young writes, “Competition is measured in terms of ease and speed. Struggling to master a subject or skill, not being successful the first time equates to failure and, therefore, a shame. According to the authors, everything is innovated by this type of person with this vision. The perverse “causes immediate moral degradation. Tenacity is not a virtue of the genius: it will be necessary for him to put everything on a plate. And he must also know what he has to learn!”
this typology “He measures his abilities by the number of roles he manages to handle brilliantly. Not fulfilling only one role—mother, wife, housewife, friend, volunteer…—is a shame, because he should be able to assume them all. These people feel the need to shine in every role. They assign themselves to feel capable, with the loads of stress that go into it and the frustrations that it guarantees, of course.
It is the woman who manifests such attitude of devotion that sometimes it even reaches to sacrifice and torture. “Listening to yourself goes into the background, The fear of disappointment takes over.” In this way, by nullifying herself, she completely hides and anesthetizes her sense of being deceived on the one hand, and on the other, if she receives a constant flow of acceptance from the people she cares for. , so she manages to keep moving forward in life. life.
These are the women who display extreme self-confidence Trying to show the rest of the world that they can do three times better than everyone else, People who brag about all the indicators of success: job, partner… It’s a mask that hides an overwhelming need for other people’s approval, approval with which these people constantly verify that they’ fit’ and at the same time reinforce their defenses that, deep down, ‘they do not deserve such approval’.
How to get out of this spiral?
To word the problem, to be able to describe it, to be able to work on it is already a big step. Like all habits of mind learned in childhood, impostor syndrome is not something you easily cut out of your life. but recognize it when it appears (and it’s not that hard when you know what it is and how it works for you) It already puts a certain distance from the problem which will give you more room to maneuver around it.
In the book, the author quotes the sociologist Patricia Braflan-Trobo When he writes of the antidote to the syndrome: “Good and healthy self-esteem, which will make a woman independent of consideration, acceptance or other blessings bestowed by men, is undoubtedly the key to a calm relationship for women.” , of women, with ourselves”. But it is not easy to ‘educate’ self-esteem. And furthermore, it is not the only piece in the impostor syndrome puzzle.
Establish in our life as new and healthy ‘Habits’ skip tagline Due to which you underestimate your work every day, change price Positive reinforcement for others like “It’s not worth what I did, it’s just work” when they praise you, can be good first steps, such as “It was a lot of effort but it was worth it”.